Mom's Sermon as a Lay Speaker/March 1974

Thought I would share this today....

Mom's Sermon/March 1974

The following is an excerpt from a sermon that my mother gave during Lent as a lay speaker in March of 1974. She gave this soul searching speech at Centerville United Methodist Church in Centerville, Ohio where I grew up. I would have been 16 years old at that time and wore hearing aids.  Mom spoke about what her faith meant to her and how it made a difference in her life. During her college years, she was a William Danforth fellowship delegate and spent some time with other young Christian people at a non-denominational retreat during the summer between her junior and senior year. She talked about meeting and talking with William Danforth at this leadership conference, who was the founder of the American Youth Foundation and how he inspired her and influenced her faith. He spent much of his life challenging young people to make the most of their lives, to give nothing less than their best. She talked about several low points in her faith and how God carried her through those difficult times. I won't copy the whole sermon but read on. . .

"The next few years included many high points--marriage, teaching, the arrival of our first child. Then life again presented a challenge; we learned that this first daughter, so dear to us, was deaf--not totally so, but to such a degree that she would never learn to speak normally or understand spoken language without a great deal of special training.

It isn't easy to face the fact that you have brought into the world a child with a built-in problem, and it isn't much easier when it happens again, six years later, with our youngest child. Our sense of helplessness eleven years ago was tempered, however, by the knowledge that even then this two-year old child had a great amount of determination and was a bright, healthy, outgoing child.

The years since then have far exceeded our expectations--with four children to make life interesting, there seems to be almost no limit to the wonderful and rewarding experiences. And if you know Laurie today, you know that it is almost impossible to think of her as handicapped. She is always coming up with something. For instance, just a few nights ago we went upstairs for a bedtime check and found her sound asleep, her arm dangling over the side of the bed, and a heavy alarm clock tied to her wrist. She doesn't like to be dependent on someone else to wake her up, and had come up with this idea: since she cannot hear the alarm ring, she had the clock fastened on her arm so tightly that when the alarm went off the vibration would wake her up. Incidently, it worked--though we discouraged her from going to bed every night with a clock tied onto her arm! With a child like that leading you, pushing you, and lighting the path, how could you help but realize God knows what he is doing!

There are times when she comes home after a hard day and asks, "Why did God make me like this? Why am I different? Why can't I hear like other people?" But I seldom need to answer, as she invariably comes up with a smile and a hug and says, "I don't really care, because I'm so lucky!"

Although we know she faces some trying times, it is encouraging to know that she accepts herself, and has an awareness of and trust in God. With that kind of support, surely she will have strength to carry her through many difficulties. I think she and William Danforth would have gotten along well, for it seems that all she needs is a good challenge and she is off and running. So many times it has been she giving me courage and inspiration, rather than the other way around.

No parent would wish this kind of stumbling block for their child, and there have been many times when I wished it were not so. But I know that her presence has given our lives an added dimension, and that out of this situation have come moments of joy we might not have known otherwise; for me, perhaps, it has resulted in a greater measure of patience."
~Betty Royer/March 1974

Thinking of you, Mom, today and always.  I love and miss you.
Laurie 10/10/11

ANOTHER BOY

Sleepless and bewildered but gloriously proud, the husband of Mary emerged from the stable and made his way to the census takers booth. For it was the decree of Imperial Rome, ordering a general census that had brought them to Bethlehem.

The angels' song hummed through his heart and timed steps with its rhythm; his fine bronzed face radiated with the wonder of the night. But enrollment blanks and reckonings kept the census taker busy, and all he saw was another peasant standing in line.

"Name?" he demanded in a routine tone.

"Joseph, carpenter, of Nazareth, of the house of David."

"Married?"

"Yes."

"Wife's name?"

"Mary."

"Children?"

The young carpenter drew himself up. . ."One child," he answered proudly. "A son, Jesus, born last night."

Was there any comment? Did the petty government official who wrote for the first time the name that was to be "Above Every Name" - did he wonder as he wrote?

Probably not. It was just one more name on the census roll.

Just another boy.

(written by Bruce Barton)

May this post find you anticipating Christ's birth with HOPE and WONDER!

Christmas blessings, Laurie

My "Gilead"

Last month I "escaped" to my aunt Trudy's house in Ohio. I needed to get away for a little while for some peace and quiet. Even though I can hear wonderfully with my cochlear implants, there are still times in my life when I crave the peace for my soul that comes with silence and solitude. . . away from the noisy world with no distractions. I've been going to Trudy's house every year for the last few years and look forward to my time there and spending time with her. She is my mother's younger sister and I'm close to her. She bought this place in the country several years ago to get away from the noise and haste of city life. This, too, is her "Gilead". . .

My prayer partner understood my need to get away and reminded me before I left that "Gilead" means "healing waters." I've always loved the song, "There Is A Balm In Gilead". . .especially the following verse:

"Some times I feel discouraged,
And think my work’s in vain,
But then the Holy Spirit,
Revives my soul again". . .

It takes me almost nine hours to get to my destination. As I was driving, listening to music, praying, and meditating, I was talking to God and thanking Him for taking me to my "Gilead." I heard a still, small voice say, "Dear One, I AM taking you to your Gilead." Then it dawned on me. . . .Trudy lives in Mount Gilead! I love how God works and speaks to me through people, places, and circumstances.

I had a wonderful week in my "Gilead." Slept, ate, read, exercised, sewed (I took my sewing machine, too), visited with family and friends, and just plain rested. It is so peaceful here. I wanted to stay another week. I also took lots of pictures!

Trudy's House

Cornfield Next to Trudy's house

"Healing Waters" in front of Trudy's house across the road

Trudy's front porch swing where I had my morning coffee in solitude. Trudy and I had some good conversations here, too. Her next door neighbor has a rooster that crows at the crack of dawn. We would sit here every morning, waiting for the sunrise and the rooster. But, never heard him.

My Christmas Tree Quilt that I made at Trudy's - I still need to quilt and bind it before I can hang it up for the holidays.

Aunt Trudy and MeEntering Mount GileadJeremiah 46:11 (The Message) "Oh, virgin Daughter Egypt, climb into the mountains of Gilead, get healing balm. . . .

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day. It is a very special day for all women - a day to remember mothers. Even if you never gave birth to a child, it is in a woman's nature to nurture other people. And to appreciate those who have nurtured them. I am truly blessed. I have had many Godly women in my life who have loved me, encouraged me, and influenced me in many different ways. I could not begin to name them all but the most important one for me was my mother. So, I am thinking about her today and all the other women who are so important in my life.

I miss my mother very much but I see her gentleness and generosity of spirit in my sister and my niece (and my brothers and nephews, too). She taught us all so much about how to treat people and her desire to help others is with me every day. I would not be where I am today in my life if it was not for her strong faith, strength, confidence and determination. Several weeks ago when I was preparing for my first visit with Dr. Merwin, I was going through my file that Mom had saved for me with my audiograms, letters, documents, newspaper articles, notes, etc. I had tears in my eyes just reading her notes with her familiar handwriting. I miss her so much. She was my best friend, prayer partner, and confidant. She lost her battle with pancreatic cancer in 1992 at the age of 58.

I was almost two years old when I was diagnosed with my deafness. There was no explanation or family history of deafness. As God said to Moses in Exodus 4:11, ". . .who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." My being born was no accident or mistake. I know that my parents were deeply discouraged when they found out that I could not hear but they NEVER gave up on me. I had the privilege to grow up in a loving, Christian home. God gave me two wonderful parents who did everything within their power, no matter what the sacrifice was, to help me be a part of the hearing world. They were told by doctors and professionals in the speech and hearing field that I would never be able to have a normal life and that I would never be able to talk or amount to anything. Mom and Dad were determined to prove them wrong and continued with their plan to teach me to read lips and to talk. Sign language was not a part of that plan so I never learned it, except to sign to music later in my adult years.

The challenges of growing up in a hearing world was often very overwhelming for me and still is at times. I know firsthand the frustration of trying to understand what people are saying when I cannot read or see their lips. I also know what it is like to misunderstand others and be misunderstood. My first word was probably "what?!!" Despite these difficulties, Mom was always there for me. And she still is, in a way. I believe she is my guardian angel, watching over all of us.

I will close this message with a quote that I found a few weeks ago written by Helen Hunt Jackson (1830-1855) who was an American writer. She wrote, "The woman who creates and sustains a home, and under whose hands children grow up to be strong and pure men and women, is a creator second only to God."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This post was originally published on Mother's Day 2005

New Processor, New Places, New Sounds

I have time for a quick post this morning. I'm currently in Nashville for my Governor's Council meeting and am staying at the Doubletree Hotel downtown. When I'm in a new place I usually hear new and different sounds. And I'm alone so it takes me awhile to figure them out.

Last night when I returned to my room after a nice dinner downstairs, I heard a faint bell ringing. I thought maybe I had a message on my room phone but the light wasn’t blinking. There wasn’t anything in the room that would make that sound. Then, I opened the window and saw a church below me! (I’m on the 8th floor). It looks like an old church in the midst of tall buildings. The bells were ringing from the church steeple and it was a great sound! I heard them again this morning at 6 a.m. when I put my processors on. Love it. This is the beginning of Lent and the sound of the church bells was a reminder to me that God is with me everywhere I go. I can also hear people walking and talking in the hallway outside my door (which is bolted and locked and I'm tempted to put a chair in front of it for extra security!). I can also hear the sounds of the streets below me - construction machinery backing up, horns honking, car doors slamming, etc. It's a good thing I don't hear anything at night when I take my processors off because I would not be able to sleep with all that noise! I have enough trouble sleeping in new places anyway, especially when I have to wake myself up in order to be somewhere at a certain time. My trusty light timer is with me attached to a light to wake me up but I still get up at dark-thirty before it comes on.

I had a mapping session yesterday with Julie at the University of Tennessee in the Audiology department. She had ordered a replacement processor for me because I was going through my batteries on a daily basis. My friend, Susan, who works in my doctor's office, called me yesterday morning and said that their office had my processor. I was confused because I don't use his audiologist anymore. Apparently, he is still my "default" location for Cochlear and they sent it there instead of to UT. Luckily his downtown office is close to Julie's office so I left a little earlier and picked it up. Julie made some mapping changes and there was a signicant change on my "new side" in my T & C levels. I have the replacement processor and mine and will compare them to see if there is a difference in the quality of sound and the battery usage. I listened to a book on tape as I drove to Nashville and was able to understand what was being said. I still "miss" words but have no trouble "filling in the blanks" because I've had to do that for most of my life anyway when lipreading!

I have to give several reports today at the Council meeting and will spend the rest of the day with my aunt Nelda. Hopefully, I'll get to see some of my cousins, too, who also live here. And, tomorrow I get to see JENNIFER!

I'm Still Here. . .Just Barely

This is just a short post to let my readers know that I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. . .I'm dealing with some "stuff" right now and trying to find "Christmas". . .

Tomorrow night is the Knoxville Chapter HLAA (Hearing Loss Association of America) meeting and I am busy getting ready for that. It is our annual Christmas party.

After much thought and prayer, I turned in my notice at work last week. My "boss" and supervisor did not want to take my resignation letter but they both understood my need to step back. I made it to my 10 year anniversary there and my last day will be December 28th. Next year promises to be a busier one with our business and I just can't do two jobs anymore, along with my other commitments and activities. I'll even have more time to blog! And hope to write "my book." I'm looking forward to this next chapter in my life but at the same time I will be sad to leave a wonderful group of coworkers and friends. . .

I'm still hearing new things and hope to find time to write about them this weekend. Hope this finds all of you doing well and looking forward to the holidays. All of our children will be home, including Jason and his new wife, Jessica. We can't wait!

Giving Thanks for Miracles

Happy Thanksgiving to you from our house! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because we can celebrate with family and friends, be together for a meal, and give thanks for all our blessings. Today has been a good day celebrating with family and friends, far and near, in person and online. I am thankful for many things, all things great and small. I am thankful for the gift of life and for the gift of sound through the miracle of cochlear implants.

Making the decision to undergo surgery for a cochlear implant is not always an easy one and requires a huge step of faith, usually in unknown territory. My friend, Jennifer received her second implant earlier this month and was activated two days ago and is hearing so well. I'm just thrilled to pieces. She sent me a video of her activation and I've watched it over and over several times. Instead of crying (like most of us do) when she was activated, she was laughing! Ethan, Erin, and Kauan were recently activated with their bilateral implants, too. I also have friends who will be recieving their second implant next month and in January. I'm sure there are many others who have or are receiving this life-changing miracle through technology. I have friends (and even a brother) who are thinking about getting a cochlear implant or going bilateral. And they will hear through the courage, gift, and talents of others before us who paved the way for technology to make a miracle through sound.

Miracles. . . every day they are there in front of us. . . big ones and small ones. . . if we only look for them. It is a miracle that we can get up and breathe and celebrate another day of life. It is a miracle that we can see, smell, touch, taste, and hear. . . The following excerpt is from Shane Claiborne's book, The Irresistible Revolution: Living As An Ordinary Radical:

"Back at college I asked one of my Bible teachers if he still believed in miracles, like when Jesus fed thousands of people with a couple fishes and a handful of loaves. And I wondered if God was still into that stuff. I wanted miracles to be normal again. He told me that we have insulated ourselves from miracles. We no longer live with such reckless faith that we need them. There is rarely room for the transcedent in our lives. If we get sick, we go to the doctor. If we need food, we go to the store and buy it. We have eliminated the need for miracles. If we had enough faith to depend on God like the lilies and sparrows do, we would see miracles. For is it not a miracle that the birds find enough worms each day?. . . "

Is God still into "that stuff" called miracles? Yes, I believe He is. This Thanksgiving I am hearing well with two "ears" for the first time ever. . .and dancing with sound. I believe in miracles because I see and experience them every day, in big ways and small ways. And you will too. Just stop, look, and listen for one. And thank the One who allows you to encounter and savor it.

P.S. Some recent "miracles" that have made me smile while cooking our Thanksgiving dinner are:

• a lone chickadee singing at the bird feeder outside the kitchen window
• rain. . .gently falling rain
• two 7 month old German Shepherd puppies chasing each other around the island while I'm trying to cook! (we have four dogs in the house with everyone home)
• the fire in the fireplace crackling, whistling, and popping
• laughter of three teenaged girls while making pies
• butter sizzling in the pan
• water boiling over the pot of potatoes on the stove
• the "pssstt" of soda when I open the bottle
• the "boys" watching (and yelling) the Green Bay Packers play on TV - Go Packers!
• talking to Jason on the phone - I asked him what he made for Thanksgiving and he said "mashed potatoes" and "collard pie". . . .I had to hand the phone to Steve because I didn't know what "collard pie" was. . .he was trying to tell me that he made "CARMEL PIE!" I was close, wasn't I? :-D
• watching and listening to the music on the video "Fiddler On The Roof" with Steve
• and hearing my family say, "I love you!"

For all these things, I give thanks! Happy Thanksgiving!

Dogs Leave Pawprints On Our Hearts

I finally have a chance to give you an update after my last post. . . .

You, my readers, know how upset Chris was about losing his puppy. For the last two weeks, Chris had been grieving the loss of Brutus and my heart was broken because I missed him too. I wanted to "fix" it and even bought another puppy last week for Chris. But we ended up taking it back. Chris appreciated the fact that I wanted to make him feel better but he just wasn't ready for another dog. So, he decided to wait until next year to get another puppy from Riga when we bred her again . . . (and we had been trying to breed her for 4 years just so Chris could have a dog from her.)

Anyway, on Thursday night Steve came into the kitchen with a shocked look on his face. He always scares me when he has "that look." I thought it was more bad news but that wasn't the case. Steve said that he had just gotten off the phone with a lady who had bought one of our puppies two months ago. She has been ill and had been in and out of the hospital and couldn't take care of her new dog. He was too big for her to handle and was disrupting her household. Apparently, he was carrying her small dogs and cats around in his mouth! So, she called us to see if we would help her find a new home for him . . .

Steve asked me what I thought. After I had a chance to process what he had just told me, I told him that God was answering prayer! And that it would be up to Chris to decided if he wanted to help this lady out. . .

AND GUESS WHO WENT AND GOT HIM??? CHRIS! He drove out to the lady's house on Friday night after he got off work. When he got out of the car, this puppy ran up to him and jumped on him and licked his face. The lady said that he had never done that with anyone before. The puppy was really happy to see Chris and seemed to remember him. The lady was sad to see him go but when Chris told her about Brutus, she just hugged him and said that she was glad that she could help.

This puppy was the one with the "blue" collar and it was the other puppy Chris was considering when he was trying to choose his dog. He told me that this was the closest thing to having Brutus back. His name is Gus and he has bonded well with Chris. He knows he belongs to Chris and follows him everywhere, sleeps with him, and lays by his feet.

Even I couldn't "fix" the situation for Chris. Only God could and would do this. "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " (Romans 8:28)


"Blue" (Gus) at 2 weeks

So, meet Gus!

Isn't he beautiful? He looks just like his mother, only he has a white spot on his chest. He is so sweet and good natured. He is a little rambuctious but with love, attention, & discipline he'll be fine. We love him already and are glad to have him back in our family again. Isn't that the best news?!!!

P.S. He's already chewed up this carpet in the picture. . .*sigh*

When I Close My Eyes. . .

. . . I hear better.

I'm using the phone more and more all the time and am getting more comfortable. I find that when I close my eyes and concentrate, I can focus better on the conversation and understand the message. I'm not afraid to ask the caller or person on the other end to slow down if they are talking too fast. No, I don't talk on the phone while I'm driving so you don't have to worry about me closing my eyes on the road!

My Bible Study group met together on Tuesday night after a summer hiatus. Afterwards we all held hands and prayed like we always do. For the first time, I could hear the prayers of my "sisters" with my eyes closed. Without having to look and speech read. I always felt like I was invading someone's privacy watching them pray. Several times during the silence when no one was praying, I could hear the clock ticking on the wall. Listening without speech reading is hard work and exhausting and I still have to "look" sometimes, especially when the speaker is soft-spoken. But, I've reached a new level of intimacy in prayer. . . Tina, my leader, asked me afterwards if I heard everything and I told her I did. She admitted that she even looked at me to see if I was reading lips and was pleasantly surprised.

Tomorrow I'm headed to the Beth Moore Conference "Deeper Still" in Nashville. Am going with my good friends, Shelley and Dawn. Two years ago, I went to Knoxville to hear Beth Moore speak shortly after my first CI was activated. Beth Moore has her own blog and is an awesome Bible teacher. There will be other speakers there and some great music. I need this retreat more now than ever. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I've talked to so many women lately who are just tired and spiritually drained.

I've also got the best news. . .but you'll have to wait until my next update. . .it is proof that God is always working behind the scenes. . .so that we can give Him all the glory. Because when I close my eyes, I "hear" God.

Quick Update

Greetings from Virginia Tech. I know some of you are wondering how Brad & Chris are doing. Chris and I are currently at Brad's apartment giving him some TLC that only a brother and mother can give. We stopped at the store on the way and I'm already cooking up a storm for the college crew here.

It is good to see Brad again, to hug him, and know that he is okay. He is still very sore with a black and red eye. His teeth hurt, too, so he still needs to eat soft foods. I made his favorite cookies (Snickerdoodles) and he can't even eat them because it is hard for him to chew. (And it is hard to keep his roommates from eating them, too!) He got his staples taken out of his head today while he was in the emergency room this morning with his girlfriend, who sprained her ankle. He asked her nurse to take them out for him. They are quite the couple with their injuries! Now it is Brad's turn to take care of her!

The doctor from the hospital called Brad the other day and told him he needed to see an eye doctor and an ENT doctor because he also has a broken eye socket that they missed in the ER. He also needs to see the dentist, too. The police were at his house on Thursday night with information (which is good news). I will have to keep details off this blog from now on because this assault on Brad & his friends will probably end up in court.

And Chris is hurting, too, over the loss of Brutus. I was so worried about him that I even bought a German Shepherd puppy for him on Thursday night. . .but ended up taking it back yesterday. He says he isn't ready for another dog and only wants one from Riga. . .I told him today that I was going to change his name to David. . .because he feels like David in Psalms. . . (David cried out in pain and sorrow to God in this book in the Bible.)

I just pray that Brad and Chris will find strength and peace in a God who loves them and that He will carry them through their difficult times.

I got a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes today just watching Chris and Leon (Brad's puppy) play on the floor when we got here. We will miss Brutus. But we are glad to have his brother.

Steve is tired but glad to be home from Poland. . . and our world is a little better again. . . God has been our refuge and strength this past week.

A Bad Dream

I was in Nashville this past weekend for my TN Council meeting on Friday. Just as I was leaving Jennifer and some friends at Cracker Barrel on Saturday to come home, Steve sent me a message saying that Brad and two of his friends were "jumped" on Friday night around midnight by a gang of four Asian guys. (Brad is our son at Virginia Tech.) Brad had called Steve on Saturday morning around 4:45 a.m. from the ER. I got more details when I got home. Apparently they were outnumbered and tried to fight them off. Brad was beat up, thrown on the ground, kicked in the face, and his head was stomped on. The next thing Brad remembers was waking up with people all around him and he was being lifted in the ambulance. His injuries were serious enough that the hospital did an MRI and CAT scan. The doctors were worried about his neck. He did have a concussion and has staples in his head and it hurts. Brad's friend, Eric, has a broken cheekbone (and will probably need surgery). The third friend was not hurt because he got away so it was four guys beating up two. . . God truly was watching over Brad and his friends that night. There were no wallets or items of any value taken. This gang apparently picked Brad and his friends at random and just wanted to hurt someone. The four guys ran from the scene on foot and left their car behind. They will at least find the driver (that is, if it isn't a stolen car). Steve did talk with the police officer in charge of the case late Saturday night and was told that the attackers' car was impounded. They do have some leads and we were given the impression that there will be arrests soon. This random and senseless attack on Brad and his friends happened near their apartment complex as they were walking home from another friend's house. I will be there in a heartbeat. . . all Brad has to do is say the word but he says he is okay for now. His girlfriend and roommates are taking care of him.

I did hear from Brad this morning. He has a headache and a black eye and his teeth hurt. He dreads going to classes this week because everyone will be asking him the same questions. His staples will come out at the end of the week. His girlfriend has made mashed potatoes for him and is bringing him applesauce and pudding so he can eat.

To make matters worse, Chris' puppy, Brutus, was hit by a truck Saturday morning in front of our house. He was only outside for 30 seconds and was run over by a woman who does not even live back here. (We live on a dead end circle and there is very little traffic.) Brutus was Chris' buddy and he is just absolutely devastated. He says he loses everything he loves. I received a text message on my phone from Chris when I was halfway home telling me he had just buried Brutus behind the shed. The tears started rolling down my cheeks as I was driving and I couldn't make them stop. I pulled over to the side of the road several times on the way home. . .when my children hurt, I hurt, too. . . . But, I did make it home. Brutus was such a good puppy and had bonded so well with Chris. He knew Chris was his master. He would wait by the door for Chris to come home from work and they would lay on the kitchen floor together, playing and snuggling every day. Chris is hurting over the loss of Brutus.

Brutus was my buddy, too. My walk these last two mornings have not been the same without Brutus carrying the leash in his mouth, leading the way. He had greatness in him and would have been a wonderful dog.

Steve left on Sunday for Poland. . .I did have a good time in Nashville with family and friends and was warmly welcomed to the TN Council for the Deaf & Hard of Hearing. I am still processing all the information from the meeting. . . there is much to do! But, I know I am in the right place and hopefully will be able to make a difference.

Thank you to all of you for your comments, thoughts, & prayers. Every day won't be a good day but every day can be a "God" day.

Roller Coaster Ride

This weekend has been one roller coaster ride. I'm too exhausted and emotionally drained to post but go here (and scroll down) for details. I will change this entry later when I am able. . .

This was my Bible verse this morning. . .

"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. . ." (John 14:27)

This Energizer Bunny Quit

Even though I "run" on batteries, I cannot keep "running" forever. My "batteries" are nearly drained and I am in desperate need of a break. These last few weeks I have been so tired. It is a tiredness that will not go away with a good night's sleep, a massage, or a day off. I’ve had several indicators lately, too, telling me that it is time for a "time-out."

Several weeks ago, Pastor Jeff, centered his sermon around Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” As soon as he spoke, I felt as if the message was designed especially for me. Ever feel like that sometimes? He talked on the subject of finding rest the following Sunday, too. On July 20th, I accidentally read August 20th in my devotional book and Matthew 11:28 showed up again. Later that week, as I was driving down the road, I saw the verse again on a church billboard. It was clear to me that God was sending me a message! My family, friends, and coworkers have all noticed my weariness, too, and have voiced their concerns.

One friend in particular commented to me that mothers and wives take care of everyone and everything and mentioned that I could be the spokesperson for the Energizer Bunny! She also reminded me that I just had major surgery this year, lived through the horrors of Virginia Tech, take care of my husband, family, friends, our children’s friends, worry about them, run the household, work two jobs (my credit union job and finances for our business), volunteer and participate in church activities, travel, etc. etc. etc. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. So, I’ve scheduled some time off to get away from everything.

I feel guilty for being tired because my husband is exhausted, too, and works so hard for all of us. But, he knows that I am at my "breaking point" and understands my need for solitude and time to think with no distractions. He says he has his “vacation” on the golf course every weekend and is content with that. We are no good if we are both falling apart! One of us needs to be strong for the other.

So, this Saturday, I will pack up my SUV and head north to Ohio ALONE for nine days. I plan to spend some time with my Aunt Trudy, who lives in the country north of Columbus. I will also spend some time with my brother and relax by his pool at his house. I’ll have lunch with my mother-in-law and dinner with my father in the middle of the week. I also plan to attend two family reunions and a high school reunion. But the rest of my time will be spent in peace and quiet.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. . . .”

The Lord Is My Refuge and My Strength. . .

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust." (Psalm 91:1)

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. (Psalm 46)

God's Bowls in Heaven

I had a *God Moment* recently and thought I would share it. God ALWAYS answers our prayers, even when we think He forgot or didn't think it was possible or important. God's Word tells of His many promises to His people. In the Book of Revelation there is a wonderful description of the prayers of saints which are placed in *bowls* in heaven. These prayers are gathered up in bowls (Rev. 5:8) where the angels add to them before mixing them up with fire from the heavenly altar. These prayers are then returned (hurled) to earth where they have a powerful effect on all creation. (Rev. 8:2-5) In the prayer room at our church, there is a prayer bowl that is filled with prayer requests. I just realized how significant this is. . .

About forty years ago I prayed a prayer as a child asking God to give me perfect hearing like everyone else. Life was hard, I had few friends, and people made fun of me because I talked *funny.* I felt singled out because I was a deaf person in a hearing world and never really *fit* anywhere. I didn't belong in the deaf world, either, because sign language was not a part of my life and was taught to speak orally. (This was very unconventional at the time because my parents were advised by doctors and other healthcare professionals to put me in an institution for the deaf. They were told that I would never be able to have a *normal* life and would face many difficulties.)

Later, as I grew older and wiser as an adult, I put that first prayer on the back burner. I didn't think it was even possible for it to be answered and assumed that God forgot about it, too. Well, we all know that things on the back burner eventually come to the front burner, right? Yes, life was still difficult at times but I had a great support system with my family and friends. That first original prayer was then changed (so I thought) and I asked God to just let me keep what little hearing I had (which wasn't much at all, even with hearing aids). Well, that prayer wasn't being answered, either, in early 2005 when this *little bit of hearing* started to disappear.

Fast forward to today: I now hear almost normally with my bilateral cochlear implants (and probably better than some people my age!) It doesn't take much for the tears to well up in my eyes and and start flowing down my cheeks when I hear the joyous sounds of the spring birds and everything else WITH TWO EARS. I can even have a conversation with my husband on the phone who is halfway across the world in Latvia, which I did yesterday.

My supervisor asked me recently how I was doing and, as we conversed, I shared with her my original prayer request that I had prayed forty years ago. And how God always has a better idea when He answers prayer. I told her that I never dreamed it would be possible to hear this good in my lifetime. Nothing is impossible with God!

Then, in my devotional reading the next day, I read Deuteronomy 2:7. I've read this verse many times but this time it JUMPED right off the page. Here is what it says: "The LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything."

God sent one of His angels to reach into one of His many bowls filled with the prayers of the saints and pulled out my prayer from forty years ago. . .the one I forgot about. . .the one that was wwwwwaaaaayyyyyyy down on the bottom. . . and answered it. . . and has blessed me more than I deserve in everything that I've done. . . and, He has walked right by my side all this time on this journey called "Life." I have never lacked for anything . . .ever . . .even when I couldn't hear. . .

So, my dear friends, even when you think God doesn't hear your prayers or answer them, just wait. When He decides that the time is right for a *miracle,* He will send an angel to draw one of your prayers out of the prayer bowls in heaven. His timing is perfect and He will amaze you and blow your socks off! Forty years is not too long to wait for answered prayer. . . :-)

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

(Please note: This is my interpretation of these verses in the Bible. I truly believe God speaks to us in many different ways and this was one of them.)

Only Two More Weeks

As you can tell by the ticker on the top of this page, it is only two more weeks until my second CI surgery. I am getting excited and nervous at the same time. I'm also very busy trying to get things done before I am out of commission again for awhile. I feel like I'm getting ready for another "trip." And it is really another "trip" to hear better. I took my hearing aid off yesterday for the last time and have made the decision to "wean" myself from it. I've had so much trouble with feedback and whistling coming from it lately and it is aggravating. It's probably because I need a new earmold. I won't be able to wear it after my surgery so I might as well get used to hearing with just my CI for now. I can honestly say I don't like being without my hearing aid. I miss it. It's almost like a security blanket for me and gives me a little bit of hearing in the low tones that my CI doesn't provide. I'm hoping that within a few days, my brain will make the "shift" and hearing with just my CI will become the "new normal" until my second CI is activated. So far, I've made it one whole day without putting my hearing aid back on.

This blog is supposed to be about my cochlear implant journey and has evolved to other parts of my daily life. I'm trying to decide if I should start another blog (I already have one for knitting, cooking, and my book chapters) or if I should just continue to write here. Any thoughts or words advice out there? Please feel free to comment. You can do it anonymously if you want. Just click on Comments at the bottom of this post. I'd love to hear from my readers, if there are any out there. :)

But, you know what? Even though I share about my family, friends, and events in my life, it is all part of my CI journey. I am able to function as a person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, coworker, etc. with a hearing loss. We all have difficulties in our lives that we have to overcome at one point or another. Part of the reason why I write is because I want to encourage others who struggle with a hearing loss and give hope to them. Also, I want to encourage parents who are dealing with a deaf child. This journey has not been an easy one. But it has shaped my life and made me the person I am today. I would not change a thing. My CI has improved my life and family's significantly and we are looking forward to the new changes that are on the horizon. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I will end this post with an excerpt from a letter from my Russian pen pal & friend, Elena:

"I know what a significant day the 30th of January is for you. And I do hope, I believe, I know that everything will be a success. Because you have never been just a passenger in the boat named "Life", and all your struggle with yourself and for yourself, your aspirations, your main (Jason, Chris, Brad, and Marissa) and not main achievements should definitely support and help you. May I add my purely Orthodox voice to your prayers and prayers of your friends?"

Thank you, Elena. God listens to all kinds of prayers!