Saturday, September 10, 2005

Still Healing. . .

My recovery time from my surgery is taking a little longer than I'd like. I'm tired of laying around and doing nothing. However, I have been able to do some knitting, reading, and praying. I know God has me down and out for a reason! I'm not a very patient person when it comes to my body. In Psalm 46:10, it says "Be still and know that I am God." God is quietly inviting me to come into his presence so He can work through me. . .maybe He is trying to tell me that time spent in silence may more normal in heaven than non-stop singing and praising. I can only imagine what heaven will be like when our short time here on earth is done. . .

To all of you who have prayed for me or called the house, sent me encourging emails and cards, brought or sent flowers and gifts, visited with me, provided meals and food for our family, taken me places, etc., I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could not do this journey without all of your love and support. You have shown me a glimpse of what heaven will be like someday! And what a glorious place that will be!

I had my follow up appointment yesterday with Dr. Merwin. Steve was glad to chauffeur me around for the day since I'm still dizzy and unstable. Dr. Merwin took the time to answer my list of questions and took my staples and stitches out. My head feels a little bit better. I'm not quite so bald now and have a little stubble of hair growing. He also did a "balance test" on me and sure enough I keeled over in less than two seconds! He thinks I have a sinus infection as well, so he prescribed some more antibiotics and some medicine for my nausea. After my appointment, we stopped at Starbucks for some coffee and tea. That is always a "treat" for me. I usually get a chai tea latte but this time I "splurged" and got a frappacino instead. It was really good. Steve and I sat outside for a little while and enjoyed the cool fall breeze. Then, we stopped at the credit union for a little bit because I had some things I needed to take care of. That took a little while because I hadn't seen my coworkers for almost two weeks! Steve stayed in the car and made a conference call for work while I did that.

As you can tell, I am up early and decided to write some more. I haven't felt well the last 24 hours and cannot sleep. My equilibrium is still "off" and I'm still struggling with congestion, diarrhea and no appetite. I've managed to reach my Weight Watchers goal these last two weeks. What a way to diet! The Dr. says that I am taking a little while longer to recover. I have another follow up appointment with him in two weeks. I also need to call his office (their computer systems were down yesterday) and set up my activation date. I am anxious to be "hooked up!" I can still hear a little bit with my right ear with my hearing aid. But, it is not as good. I called Kathy this morning from my cell phone but couldn't understand her very well. I understood enough to hear "I love you" and "bye." Soon, that will change!

As I said before, I'm not a very patient person when there is much to do. I have heard the calls for help and aid for the Hurricane Katrina victims and want to do my part so badly. The news coverage of the devastation and human suffering in the media and news has occupied my thoughts during my recovery time. Like everyone else, I want to help to relieve some of the burdens of those who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina. Last week our church was calling for volunteers to train with the Red Cross to help at the shelters for the relief efforts. They were also calling for volunteers to put together health kits and flood buckets. I wanted to get in my car and drive over to the church when I had a "good moment" to deliver a check to help since I was not able to do anything physically. Our dear friend, Gita Mednis, who is a pastor in Latvia, ministered to me across the ocean through an email at a time when I needed a "mom" the most. She knew I was struggling with nausea and dizziness and begged me not to get in the car to go to church. She didn't want to sound like a "mother" but reminded me that my body needed time to recover. It is not a bad thing to take a little longer than most to heal. We are such a driven society and feel like we need to be doing something all the time. I felt like she was sitting right here next to me talking with me, holding my hand, and praying with me. She understood that it was so hard for me to let go. She also reminded me that cars and driving are not just conveniences and must be respected for what they are - machines that need to be driven with utmost care, respect and full faculties. She didn't want something to happen to me if I couldn't give my driving the full attention that it deserved. And she was right. She reminded me that there will be other opportunities for me to help. I cried when I read her email because God sent her to me when I needed "Mom." So, I didn't go.

Later, Pastor Jeff told me that my check will offset the cost for the disaster relief because the church had to purchase extra supplies for the health kits and flood buckets. (I had sent him an email saying that I was coming with a check that day.) I told him he would have a check on Sunday. So, I am still able to do my part. God knows my heart and understands. I do know that my prayers will make a difference. Little by little, no matter how big or small our part is, we can do it together and make this world a better place for someone.

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