Monday, October 23, 2006

God Moments

Ever since I got the phone call about being approved for a second implant, I've gone through a range of different emotions and thoughts. There have also been some incredible God moments, much of which is personal. . .but I will say this. . . God's timing is so PERFECT! There is a reason why all this is happening now. . .there is a reason why I haven't been able to hear all these years. . . there is a reason why God is blessing me the wonderful gift of sound through not one but TWO ears with another implant. God knew what He was doing when He created me. . .He did not put me in the "hard of hearing" line to make my life difficult. . .He has used my deafness to mold and shape me into the person in Christ that I am today. . .to draw me closer to Him. I am in awe of his perfect timing and planning. . . I don't deserve His grace but He is allowing it to happen for a reason. After I get my second implant I JUST KNOW that God wants me to use it for His service. . . my hearing journey is not going to stop just because I can hear better. . .it is all becoming clear to me now and I am in complete awe of His goodness and grace. . .and how He works everything according to His purpose. Everything happens for a reason. There is a time and a season for everything under the heavens. . . I don't know yet what He wants me to do so I will keep praying. . .I know God will guide and direct me and show me how He wants me to serve Him the rest of my life.

I've been asked if I got the second one approved because I'm doing so well with the first one. I don't think so because if the insurance company thought I was doing well with just one they would not approve the second one. It is unusual for bilateral implants to be approved for adults, except in very special circumstances. I know many others are being denied across the board for bilateral implants without a second thought and that makes me sad. I've also heard rumors that there is a big class action lawsuit going on concerning bilateral implants and insurance companies are starting to think twice about denying them. I've waited and prayed for eight months for an answer to my request and fully expected to be denied the first time around. My cup truly does runneth over!

I called Dr. Merwin's office on Friday to see if I could get a copy of the approval letter and to find out if they had a date set aside yet. Teresa took some vacation time off and will return today so I will call again. I'm looking forward to having my surgery in January. Part of me wants to do it now - as soon as possible - but another part of me does not want to be sick or feel bad during the holidays. This is another example of how perfect God's timing is. He knows that I love the month of January. It is my time to reflect and relax after the busy holidays and I like to take it easy. So, January will work out perfectly for me to rest and recuperate after my surgery. I'm not looking forward to having my head shaved again because it took over a year for my hair to grow back! I told Chris that I was going to have him take a magic marker and write special message on my neck to ask the person who shaves my head to shave as little as possible! There is actually a doctor in California that is well known for the smallest incision for cochlear implants. People come from all over just to have him do their surgeries!

In other news, I've been watching some other blogs. Two darling little kids, Erin and Isaac had their CI's activated on Friday. Also, my friend, Jennifer, is doing better each time she gets her processor mapped. Everyone has a *story* and I love to *hear* them!

Later. . .Teresa called me at work today. Still no surgery date but she did ask me if I wanted to have my surgery on December 12th. I just don't think that would work during the holidays!

I haven't been writing much, mainly because I haven't had time. I took care of my niece, Elizabeth, on Thursday night and Friday while my sister was on a business trip. Brad came home this past weekend so I spent most of the weekend cooking and spending time with the family. I really don't have any new sounds to report. But, I do appreciate the fact that I can hear the dogs at the door when they want to come inside. Maddie, Jason's cocker spaniel, scratches on the door. Riga, our German Shepherd will stand there and bark. Now that fall is here I'm noticing the musical sounds of the wind and the leaves in the trees and there aren't as many birds singing. I couldn't sleep the other night and could hear the rain at 2 a.m.

I will sum up my hearing journey so far with the chorus from the song, "I Am Free" by the Newsboys because I am truly free to live!

I am free to run,
I am free to dance,
I am free to live for You...
I am free...
Yes, I am free!


Isaac's Mom said...

Wow! God has an awesome way of connecting people. I have no idea how you found Isaac's blog site, but thank God you did. I have felt alone for awhile in this journey of Isaac's and it is so nice to hear a Christian perspective on hearing loss. God Bless you!

Laurie said...

Isaac's Mom,

God has an incredible way of getting people together. Nothing happens by accident! I'm glad I can be an encouragement to you. I know my parents were very discouraged when they found out I was deaf. My mom gave a sermon in 1974 about dealing with it. You can see it in my "Future Book Chapters" under October 10, 2005. I give my parents much of the credit for where I am today. Isaac looks like a little darling and he will do great because he has wonderful parents!