Quick Update

The Christmas season is in full swing and I feel like a long tailed dog in a roomful of rocking chairs! I hardly have time to sit and think and be still! But, I am being quiet for a little while this morning so I thought I would share a few thoughts before I get too busy. I don't even have my music on yet - I need some quiet time.

I'm enjoying the sounds of Christmas - I hear music everywhere I go - in the stores, in the car, at work, and even on my iPod! The other night I was listening to my iPod while I was working on my computer, Steve came upstairs and said, "Are you listening to your iPod?" When I told him that I was, he commented that he was yelling at me from the bottom of the stairs and I could not hear him when he called out to me. I told him, "Now you know what I went through all these years when you couldn't hear me while wearing headphone when you were listening to music!" We had a good laugh about that.

As far as hearing new things, I've shifted from trying to listen for environmental sounds to concentrating on understanding speech. Therapy is coming along and Susie says I'm making progress. Right now I'm having trouble telling the difference between the "k" sound and the "t" sound. It doesn't matter if the sound is at the beginning or end of a word or if it is used in a sentence, I still can't get it. But that will come. Susie is wonderful because she explains to me why it is hard to hear certain sounds like the "t" and "k". It is because there is a slight difference in the frequency rate. Try saying and hearing the difference between "eat" and "eek", "meet" and "meek", "sheet" and "sheik", "till" and "kill". I asked Susie if I would be able to hear those sounds if my processor was programmed a little higher and she said probably not. It is just a matter of training the brain to recognize and hear the difference between different sounds. I am hearing words and phrases when I am not really concentrating. I still get things mixed up, too. For example, I heard one of my coworkers say "purchase security" and I thought she said "social security."

Last night I went to a Christmas party with the ladies from my church. I got lost trying to find the house. Luckily, I had Tina's phone number in my purse so I pulled off to the side of the road, found my T-Link in my purse and set it up with my cell phone. When Tina answered the phone, I told her that I was lost and that I needed her house number. I heard her say "fifty one forty one" but had to ask her if it was "five one four one" or "six one four one" because I couldn't tell if she said "fifty" or "sixty". I also heard her say that she had balloons on her mailbox. I was about 3-4 miles away and was able to find her house. It felt good to be able to make a phone call for help without having to struggle and drive around at night when I didn't know where I was.

I've gone to several other parties this past week. Went to the annual Christmas party for work at the Hilton. It was very noisy there! It was interesting to hear 50+ pieces of silverware clicking and scraping on plates as people were eating. I could hear voices laughing and talking. I normally don't like to go to parties because it has always been a struggle for me to carry on a conversation with so much noise around me. But, I have a program on my processor that minimizes background noise (BEAM) for me and allows me to hear the person I'm talking to. It is probably my favorite program on my processor. It's great. I had to sit up close to hear the program because Steve and I sat at a table in the back of the room. We had two different soloists and they sounded so beautiful and made me cry.

I also went to our monthly SHHH (Self Help for Hard of Hearing) meeeting on Thursday night. I was in charge of organizing it so I went early to set up the room with Christmas tablecloths and decorations. We had a good turnout and it is a great support group for people with hearing disabilities. We all have something in common and understand the struggles of living with a hearing loss. I had to smile when we had to leave because we all got out our umbrellas in the rain to protect our processors and hearing aids!

Tomorrow I will be sharing my testimony during both services at church. I'm going to share how I have received a wonderful gift this year because God uses the hands and minds of people to work miracles. And how this electronic miracle allows me to hear like I've never heard before. It is so exciting for me to hear the sounds I hear that others take for granted. It is a true and real blessing from God and I claim it as His work through the hands of His children. During the holiday season we are constantly trying to find the right gift or present to give to others. You are given gifts from God. You come as a unique "package" filled with special talents and a purpose to serve. When you live in a way that exposes your "specialness" and use your talents in that purpose, you are a blessing to others, no matter how small or large. The best gift you can give to someone else is YOU. You can make a difference with a kind word, thought or deed. I can hear because someone used their God given gifts and talents to create this cochlear implant for me and for others who cannot hear. This is such a joy for me and is a very real gift from God. I still look the same on the outside but inside my "cup runneth over!" God has shown His goodness to me in numerous ways through other people. For this I am thankful. No matter how big or small your gifts and talents are, you can impact someone's life in a very special way. So, pause and listen to God this season so that you can hear His purpose and plan for your life and what He wants you to do with it.

"Use the talents you possess - for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best." ~Henry Van Dyke

Is It December Already???

I know it has been a while since I've written an update. . .I'm sitting here with my morning cup of coffee and am listening to Christmas music on my iPod and will write! I have so much to say and will try to summarize everything briefly. . .

California: I had a great "three day date" with Chris in San Diego. It was so nice to have my Marine son all to myself! Usually when the kids are home, they are busy hanging out with their friends or doing other things. I try to have a "date" with them once in a while so I can have some one-on-one time with them. When I arrived at the San Diego airport I got the biggest hug from Chris! It was so nice to hold him and hear his voice! He was very interested in my implant when I showed it to him. He lives in a house with three other guys and it was an "experience" living in a bachelor pad for three days! Chris let me have his room and bed and I was very comfortable. We went out to eat a few times. He took me to the Camp Pendleton base and showed me around. Went to Starbucks a few times. We also went to the ocean twice so I could "hear" it! Chris took me for a three hour ride to the beach on his motorcycle and that was fun. I'm not really crazy about motorcycles but I knew he would be careful. I took my CI off while we rode because I didn't want to take the chance of it falling off. I did put it back on when we got to the ocean. We walked out on a long pier and I just "listened". It was GREAT! I wanted to stay there all day. We also heard a man in a wheelchair playing his saxophone from a distance. Beautiful music to my ears.

I had no trouble with my flight to and from CA with my CI. Going through security was uneventful and was just like any other time I have traveled. On the plane, I was thrilled that all of my cords for my CI and HA worked with the movie and music plug ins. But, I didn't watch the movies for two reasons: I still need some close captioning and the audio did not match the video (that drives me crazy!) so I gave up. I tried listening to the music instead but could also hear the "whine" of the plane at the same time. So, I just plugged in my iPod and listened to music as I knitted. It worked out well and I was happy that I didn't have to sit in bored silence for four hours. My ear did "pop" in my hearing aid ear but I did not have any discomfort with my CI side. Things did sound funny after I landed but went back to normal the next day.

Riga: We bred Riga two weeks ago. Hopefully I will be able to hear "puppy sounds" in January!

Auditory therapy: I'm going to auditory therapy twice a week. Susie says I'm making good progress even though I don't feel like I am. I just need to be patient. Patience is not one of my virtues! I look forward to my therapy sessions and am understanding more sounds all the time. I'm able to grasp and pick up vowel and consonant sounds better at each session. Susie says it will take some time for my brain to adjust to the new sounds that it is hearing. My communication for all of my life has been AUDITORY and VISUAL with lipreading. Now I am trying to build up my "Auditory Dictionary" without lipreading. It is hard for me but would be very easy for a hearing person. I tried to listen to the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears online the other night and could not get many of the words. If I could have slowed down the speaker, I might have done better. Susie says that she notices that I pick up words quicker when she slows down. Eventually she will be able to speak faster and I will be able to understand at a quicker rate. Later she'll add background noise. But for now, KISS (Keep it Short and Simple!)

Thanksgiving: We went to Ohio for Thanksgiving and had a wonderful time with family and friends. I was able to see relatives that I had not seen since my implant (and had to do a little show and tell, too!) Heard some wonderful sounds, too:

• voices of family and friends
• windchimes on my brother's patio
• the wind blowing
• sirens off in the distance
• clinking of silverware and glasses
• playing "Shepherds Play Your Melody" on the recorder while my brother accompanied me on the piano
• being able to carry a conversation in a car, noisy room, or restaurant
• whistling teakettle
• the timer on the oven when the food was ready
• wrapping paper ripping and rustling as we opened Christmas gifts
• cameras clicking
• music playing in background
• called sister in law Allison on the phone quickly while I was packing to ask a question and got my answer
• being able to talk with my cousin across the table (she was glad I could still lipread because she talked quietly a few times when she didn't want anyone to hear what she was saying)

Even though I heard some new sounds at Thanksgiving, there were also the familiar sounds that I "heard" before my implant - the ones that my heart "hears". I am thankful for the love and sharing of my family and friends, my health, and the many blessings that we have. God is so good. As my pastor says, God’s economy is that of surplus! It's called “GRACE.”

CI and HA: I am wearing my CI and hearing aid together. I've tried going without it but my hearing aid seems to fill in the sounds that my CI doesn't give me. It gives me the richness and fullness that I need, especially with voices and clarifies my CI sounds.

My Best Friend Dawn: I have not been able to get together with Dawn for several weeks and I miss her. But, she is going through a difficult time right now. She sent me an email recently telling me that her mother has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and that she has been spending a lot of time at the hospital or at her parent's home. I only know and understand her pain too well. . .my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at this time of year 13 years ago. . .

Will write more later. . .love and hugs to all!

What Am I Thankful For?

Our local newspaper asked readers to write a small paragraph on what they were thankful for so I submitted a short poem. . .

* (Sing to the tune of ``Raindrops on Roses'')
Sweet nothings from my husband, kind words from children,
Sounds of birds singing, leaves rustling in trees.
Coffee percolating and raindrops that fall...
These are a few of the sounds
That I'm thankful for.
Because I am hearing them for the very first time...
After receiving a cochlear implant
Just a few months ago!

Laurie Pullins, Maryville

Before And After Hearing Tests

Click on this picture to see the full view. I have gone from a profound hearing loss to a MILD hearing loss with my CI. A true miracle and gift from God. I am truly blessed and thankful!

Pictures from California

Chris on the pier near Oceanside, California

Me enjoying the sounds of the ocean!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I am making preparations to fly to San Diego, California tomorrow to see Chris! I have not seen him since I got my CI. I absolutely cannot wait to hug him and spend time with him because I haven't seen him since June. I want to hear his voice and hear the ocean with him. I've been busy loading songs on to my iPod so that I will have music to listen to as I travel. That will be nice because I've always had to sit in silence on airplanes. I also got my cables for my CI by FedEx and DHL yesterday and will have them for my travels! I wonder if I will be able to plug in my TV/HiFi cable to the TV on the plane to watch a movie in place of the earphones that they always pass out. We'll see. It will also be an experience to go through security with my CI but I am prepared. I have my card next to my driver's license in my purse that informs others that I have a electronic device in my head. I also wear a medical alert bracelet.

Some new sounds that I've heard lately:

• Heard Riga walking on the floor above me while I was in the basement
• Sounds of fall: leaves rustling in the wind and falling off the trees
• Understood Steve talking to Marissa from the car in the dark without lipreading
• Talked to Allison, my sister-in-law on the phone for about 15 minutes on Sunday night

I had auditory therapy today and did pretty good for my first appointment. I have trouble distinguishing words that begin and end the same but have a different vowel in them, like "pet," "put," "pout," "pot," "pat," "pit." Had the most trouble with "pit" and "put." I understood short phrases pretty well like "the cat is in the bag", "he looked at the sock", etc. The appointment was only 30 minutes and was over before I knew it.

This little electronic miracle has made such a difference in my life and my confidence level. I cannot believe that I was able to function for so long with my hearing aids as well as I did. But, it is because I was fitted with the right hearing aids at the right time and had good training. All this is helping me make good progress with my CI.

Give Thanks With A Grateful Heart

As I sit here this morning, I have my window open behind me and can hear birds singing outside. I am also listening to songs on my iPod and giving thanks and praise again to God for my new world of sound. Every day I continue to be overwhelmed with His generosity, blessings, and love for me. It is so exciting for me to hear things that other people take for granted. I continue to be awe of this new miracle in my life that has been given to me through technology. God is so very good and blesses me more than I ever deserve. . .

I heard a few new sounds this week. I heard a carbonated drink "fizz" over ice when I poured it in my glass. I heard my boss say, "I'll be back in a minute" as she walked past my desk. I wasn't even "listening" for her and was thrilled that I heard her. Jason is home this weekend with Maddie, his cocker spaniel. She is a very sweet and active little dog and her feet pitter-patter so fast on the floor when she is excited!

I am also happy to report that my tinnitus is going away. I don't notice it as much anymore. It seems to be settling down. I think my auditory nerve was mad at me whenever I took my CI and HA off at night because it was not getting any sound. So, it said, "Well, if you are not going to give me sound, I'll just have to make it up!"

I had my hearing tested this week with my CI and HA and tested with a MILD hearing loss! When I get a copy of my hearing test, I will post it. I tested in the 30 -40 hearing dB range and spiked at 20 dB at 6000 hz! This is a big change from the severe/profound range that I've been in for most of my life. Susie, my audiologist tested me with my CI alone and also with my CI & HA together and said that I DO benefit from my hearing aid. My hearing aid seems to round out the sounds that I am not getting yet from my CI. She also did not like the "spike" and says that Bill needs to round that out when I get my next map. That may explain some of the "echoes" and "tinny" sounds that I hear and may also explain why music sounds funny sometimes. On Monday I will have a speech comprehension test done to see how well I am understanding speech with my CI and HA. All this information will be so valuable to Bill when he sets my next map because he will know exactly what adjustments need to be made. (Look to your right on this blog and I will add a link on how to read a hearing test or audiogram. Click on the "NEXT" buttons.)

Susie shared with me that she has been praying for direction about her career and the hearing center that she works in. She would like to do more work with CI patients. Steve and I have talked in the past about how it would be so great for the hearing center to be able to work with CI patients and do the mapping, etc. But, they have to have the funds and resources and be connected with a specific surgeon that will refer them, etc. They also have to have special training from the cochlear implant companies and be qualified. Susie says that she refers at least 3-4 patients a week to Dr. Merwin and another doctor in Knoxville for cochlear implants but those patients have to go somewhere else for their appointments, evaluations, and mapping sessions. The business manager at the hearing center says that they cannot afford it right now. I shared with her that this hearing center has been my "home" for 12 years and that I feel safe there. I just know that there are others who feel the same way I do. I know everyone that works there and am comfortable with them. It was hard for me to leave my "comfort zone" to go to Knoxville and trust another doctor and hearing center with my ears but I really did not have any other options except to go to Nashville or Atlanta. Susie also shared with me that some patients HAVE to go to Nashville (which is three hours away) for their evaluations, appointments, surgery, mappings, etc. and that it is very difficult for them, especially if they have low incomes or transporation issues. She had one patient who was on TennCare and waited for hours to see a Dr. in Nashville, only to find out that the doctor or insurance company didn't have all her information and paperwork. It was hard enough for this patient to get to Nashville and to be turned away and have to start all over again was a big blow. I told Susie that "if they (the hearing and speech center) build it, they will come." I know there are other patients like me who would come to the hearing center for our appointments, mapping sessions, therapy, etc. I am fortunate that I can have my therapy there but I still have to go to Bill for my maps because he is associated with the doctor who performed my surgery. . .So, I will pray for direction for Susie and the Blount Hearing and Speech Center. . .

I am going to go work in the yard outside and do some "listening" on this beautiful fall day. I need to plant my winter flowers and rake leaves, etc. I also have "nursery duty" at church tomorrow and will get to hear the sounds of little children again!

I will close this entry by sharing with you that as I walk with Jesus every day and draw closer to Him, I find that my thankfulness to Him is an ever-growing symphony of praise that flows from my heart to His. As I look around me, I see that our world is full of heaven. There are so many riches that God has given to me and to you. He is always one step ahead of us and answers our prayers in ways that we never imagined. He puts people in our paths to show us kindness, love, and joy. Everything that we have comes from HIM. For that reason alone, my heart is full of gratefulness and thanksgiving.

Hebrews 13:15 (Amplified Bible) "Through Him, therefore, let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name."